Behind Closed Doors

I once heard a comedian recounting the story of how, after a long absence from physical intimacy, he and his wife were in the "moment", when one of their children started banging on the door, sobbing uncontrollably. 
"What is it?" he asked in a less than friendly voice.
"My hamster is dead!" wailed the child.

I don't remember how things turned out, but I chuckle to myself every time this story comes to mind. We have a hamster.

Marriage is one of the greatest joys I have ever experienced.  But, it does take work.  It takes sacrifice, patience and grace.  And when it comes to intimacy, it takes purposeful and mutual surrender. 

When my husband and I were courting, we committed to each other to stay sexually pure until our wedding vows were exchanged.  In the months leading up to our marriage, I remember thinking that I was going to be super sexual once we said "I do."  But, the realities of intimacy were nothing like what was depicted in romantic comedies.  I had a lot of learning to do about what it meant to give of myself when we found ourselves smack dab in the middle of real life.

Once the honeymoon was over, it was time to go back to work.  That was short lived before I began a more physical job (pregnancy), and boy did intimacy change then!  Breast feeding and post-baby body added a whole new element to contend with.  Then the kids grew, times got even busier and sleep became the highlight of my day.  Being intimate often required every last ounce of strength that I had.

Now, this is in no way a knock on my husband.  I don't want anyone to think that he lacked understanding or patience.  He was, and is, so good to me!  The problems lay/lie mostly with me, a hormonal imbalance, and overexposure to a world that uses sex to sell everything from gum to cars.
 It is amazing how small seeds of discontent can be planted in your mind without even realizing it.  When romance doesn't come in a "Pretty Woman" package, are we still willing to work for it?

Intimacy will often come down to a choice.  Will I stay self-focused and hone in on the trials of the day, or will I give of myself and take in a glimpse of the bigger picture?  I choose the big picture, though in all honesty, often times I'd rather not be the focus of "attention."  But, I am so thankful that my husband loves and desires me.  Though my emotional response may not always be what I want it to be, I choose to act out in love.