Last Wednesday I had my final broadcast on KDAZ AM730. It closed out a 5 day run of guests whom I had purposefully scheduled to come in and help me "talk out" my last days at a station I love. Friends and ministry partners came in and wished me well, and we talked about our heart(s) for Albuquerque and why it matters that we choose to engage and love on/in our community.
The final hour of the program was spent with a dear friend, Chuck Elmore, who prayed for me and commissioned me onward and upward. Son Broadcasting President, Annette Garcia, also came in to speak a word of blessing and to send me into my next role. It was a sweet and treasured hour. I'm kicking myself for not recording it, but perhaps my forgetfulness was God's way of encouraging me to rely on the mental imprint, rather than digital playback.
It wasn't until a few hours after the broadcast ended that the finality of what had transpired really hit me. I was cleaning out my desk, and the tears began to flow. Sorting through books and business cards, tea packets and notepads, it was a moment of realization that my little corner desk wasn't going to be mine anymore. My belongings would be removed and the space would be vacant. I took my big blue yoga ball, and my few remaining items and packed them into my car, and really cried.
I don't question my decision to move into a new professional role. God had been working behind the scenes long enough, that I knew the timing and situation was right for me to make the change. But just because God is behind (and in) the change, doesn't make it pain free.
I must take a moment to be candid. My husband gave me advice that I didn't heed. He suggested that I take some time off between jobs to just rest. Thinking that I had to make my schedule work out in a particular way, I charged ahead. I ended my job at KDAZ on Wednesday, and then arrived first thing Thursday morning to start my new position. Looking at my new desk, tears welled up in my eyes. I hadn't given myself the time I needed to process these big changes.
There is an excitement that comes with this new job. I'm eager to see what God is going to do in and through me. The beauty of working in ministry is, that though I may be at a different station now, we all serve the same Captain. Together, our respective teams play out our roles as we advance toward the finals.
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