Mean Mom's Guilt Trip

As I slid my card through the credit card machine, I said nastily to my daughter, "$74 because you didn't put your glasses away."  The cashier looked a bit embarrassed and apologized for the long wait we had just endured.

My "little" girl stormed ahead, mumbling something about that fact that I shouldn't have humiliated her.  She was right.  I stoped in the isle and asked for forgiveness.  My guilt trip wasn't going to solve this problem.

I was mad--maybe even rightfully so.  However, my treating her like a jerk just compounded the frustration I was feeling.

Teaching responsibility and/or real-world consequences to my girl(s) is proving to be so much more difficult then I ever imagined.  For example, when Joey the hamster died, I ended up buying the replacement, because she didn't have enough money, and needed one for the 4-H project that had been ordered while the hamster was still alive.

Today, she forgot to go to band after school.  Today also happened to be the day that we got to order new glasses after the original pair didn't get put away, and have subsequently been lost in the black hole where missing things go to die.

We don't give our kids an "allowance".  They have the opportunity to earn a few dollars each week by doing housework, but they never want to save it for anything of value.  Instead, it's blown on dollar store nick knacks and the occasional candy or ice cream. 

There has never been an item that they wanted enough to save up for.  So, how do I teach the value of hard work?  How do I instill in them the worthiness of saving for a large goal?  And when they lose, damage or distroy someone's (or thier own) time or materials, how are they to make restitution?

I know that there aren't any pat answers to these issues.  They will likely require new and creative techniques to address the root problem each time.  But one thing is for sure: my guilt heaped upon them will serve no good purpose.  If I could remember to parent like God (a very tall order), then the stage would be set for heart change, rather then groveling sorrow that lasts only for a moment.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Romans 8:1

Super Birga-o's World

This blog needs to have sound effects.  Since I don't think this site can accommodate me, you'll need to use your imagination. To begin, please start humming the "Super Mario Brothers" song.  Now, imagine me (or yourself) walking through the overly simplistic video game world.  You'll need to jump out of the way of (or shoot fireballs at) the mushrooms, turtles and Venus fly traps (??) that come out of the green pipes. 





If you have survived the level, and made it into the tube that takes you to the underground world, please change the song in your head now.



This slightly sinister melody has been playing for me this afternoon/evening as I try to make my way back to the surface.  The irony of this "world" is that I know how to defeat these lesser enemies, but they often get the better of me as I get distracted by other tasks. 

As a kid (and teen) I always loved to go over to any friend's house that had a Nintendo.  We didn't have any type of gaming system at our home, and any time I got a chance to play Super Mario, I was as happy as could be.  But, I was terrible at it!  I always died in the most careless of ways.  I'd fall off a cliff or be killed by a turtle (with or without throwing hammers).  I never seemed to learn (or remember) when/where to duck, jump or avoid danger. 

Now, as a big kid, I find that I make many of the same mistakes walking through real life.  I know the problems, emotions, personalities and situations that knock me down.  But for whatever reason, I don't do a very good job of avoiding them, or learning from them.  Confronted again today by a repeat problem, I didn't duck.  Instead, it hit me square in the chest, and (cue the shrinking Mario sound effect) I felt quite a bit smaller then I had moments before.

So, now I need to recharge.  I know where to look to get what I need to be restored to full size.  And, if I keep going, I can add on some Fire Power!

Though I never won the game, I did on occasion complete a level.  There was always that little tingle of excitement when I got to jump on the flag pole and raise the banner of victory.  So (cue the last musical jingle of the blog), lookout world, I'm going to press forward.  It's only a matter of time before get to the castle!