The Hoarder's House

About a month ago, I got a call to inform me that someone who I'd known since childhood, had been admitted into the hospital.  The diagnosis is cancer, and there have been many complications that have led to a prolonged hospital stay.

This individual has a cat, and my father, being compelled to make sure it was ok, went to the house to check up on it.  What was discovered when he first walked through the front door was something that has literally caused him nightmares. The sick man is a hoarder.

I've heard about hoarders, and may have even seen a few minutes of a TV special about them.  But, to walk through one of these houses, is something that affects you--deeply.  There is a spirit of despair and defeat in the air.  The dust is so thick, the contents of the home so dirty, that you feel contaminated just standing there.

God bless my parents!  They have been working a few hours each day to begin to clear out the years of newspapers and debris. They've made amazing progress.  I, along with my husband, sister, some extended family and friends, have also put in many hours of work.  We've finally gotten to the point where we can uncover surfaces (counters, tables, floor) and what we have found is disgusting. 

My point in writing this account is not to shame or accuse this man.  Something is horribly wrong in his mind if he is unable to see the damage to/danger of his own home.  To let years pass by, without asking for help, has likely kept him in a prison of shame and paranoia of discovery. 

For as long as I've known him, this man has put on an air of pride and arrogance. I of course, had never seen his house prior to this, but many times he'd been over visiting my parents, I'd see him and heard his loud objections to many of the tenants of our faith and values.  It turns out, this very vocal and difficult man, was hiding a big, dirty secret. 

I'm not sure what to expect the next time I see him.  Will there be embarrassment and humility in his eyes?  Will there be angry defiance?  No mater what transpires, I know that I will never be able to view him in the same way.  For me, what once was an irritated annoyance at his personality, has been transformed into a sympathetic wonderment.  What type of sadness or hurt has plagued his life?  What has it done to his spirit to hide this secret for so many years?

We've all heard the expression "Don't judge a book by its cover."  This of course, can be directly applied to people, and their sometimes rough and ragged exteriors.  I've been reminded once again, that some of the most difficult people we encounter, are those that need the most love and help. 

Finally, it makes me even more thankful for a close-knit group of people who love and care about me.  If something in me were to "snap", they would jump in and intervene before things got out of hand.  For this man, he had no one who he trusted enough, to really allow them into his life. 

Let us all take a second look at those people who rub us the wrong way.  It just may be someone who desperately needs our tenderness and compassion.