Writing a Will at 35

My husband and I are getting ready to travel to Israel.  We've been invited to participate in a race in order to raise funds and awareness for a crisis pregnancy center in Jerusalem.  This trip is a blessing through and through.  I have no expectations or fears that we will be in any kind of danger.

However, with both of us leaving the country, I've been advised to write a Will.  I'm only 35!  The chances of harm befalling both me and my husband are very slim, but I do have to think about my kids in the event of the "what if?". 

Contemplating who would care for my children for the next 10 years has been agonizing.  Thank goodness we have four solid possibilities of immediate family members who could step in in the event of an emergency. 

While I may have complained about many aspects of parenting in the past (and will likely struggle through issues in the future) I am so glad that I've been selected to be the mother of my two beautiful girls!

I know the looks, the smarty-pants remarks, the worries, fears and joys that make them who they are.  I know how often their fingernails need to be cut, the songs they sing along to and the friends they keep.  I am their Mama.

When we go out for our occasional $1 Boba Tea Tuesdays, I am reminded that this is our special time.  When my 9 year old wakes me up at night because she is afraid, I want to be there.  When my eldest struggles through her reading, I want to hear it.

Parenting is hard.  It's even harder if you are trying to do it in order to train future Godly adults.  After today's doctor's appointment and strep culture, I will be thankful for my job.  When I take pictures of molding potatoes for a 4th grade science project, I will hold my breath but appreciate the chance to be an active part.  I choose to celebrate motherhood in the good times and bad.

Thank you God for today and for every day you allow me to be a Mother!

Clutter free=happy me!

Last night I commented to Bob how happy I was since we took out all of the extra "stuff" that was around our home.  We've been in the process of trying to remove anything non-essential before the move.  The house has never looked better.

But then he said something that made me pause and think a little.  His word were, "Yeah, but now this place has no personality.  It went from a home to a house.  It looks staged and there isn't anything here that is 'us'".

I was surprised by this statement, as he and I share a dislike for clutter.  If I'm being totally honest, I've fantasised about what would happen if all the boxes of "stuff" that has been transferred out into the garage were suddenly gone.

But, maybe he's right.  Maybe there does need to be a sampling of "items of flair" to remind us who we are, the things we've experienced, and what knits us together.

As we move into our new home, I will be doing a careful evaluation of what I pull out of the boxes.  I don't want to fill a bigger place with trinkets just because they will fit.  I do find more peace in a simple home.  However, I will be mindful not to go overboard.  If the Star Wars figurines are important to Bob because they remind him of his childhood, I need to find a place for them.  If the drawer full of Dollar Store mementos are important to Sydney, I won't throw them out.  And if Hannah finds comfort hanging up drawings, posters and sketches up on her walls, why should I care?

I will likely need to be reminded (or supervised) as I unpack to avoid the strong urge to toss it all.  But, the attitude of "happy with less" is an important lesson that I do want to instill into my children.  In a few weeks, if you visit our new home, you'll have to let me know if we were able to balance each other out.

A long time gone

My goodness it has been a long time since I've had an opportunity to sit down and write.  What has been taking up my time?  Well, moving.
After much prayerful and deep-thoughted (is that a word?) consideration, we decided to take the plunge and become landlords.  Not for the fun of it, but for an investment into our future.  My job, though I love it, provides no retirement, and I have grown nervous thinking that we might be relying on the State of New Mexico pension plan to make ends meet when my husband retires.  The nervous part comes when I see articles and analysis of the state pension plan indicating that there isn't enough money there to cover all those currently working toward retirement.
So, we decided to be pro-active (just in case).  After considering buying a property to rent out, we came to the conclusion that our current home would be an ideal rental.  This in and of itself is a bitter-sweet statement.  I have grown to love our house, that I begrudgingly moved into almost 8 years ago.  We have put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this home.  It's the home that my children have grown up in and the home that a majority of the memories from my married life are housed in.
I will miss this home.
The new house (which we are scheduled to close on in less than 2 weeks) is a dream.  Almost too good to be true.  It has almost 1000 sq. ft. more space than our current house.  It has a master closet the size of one of our bedrooms.  It has skylights and radiant heat.  It has a pool!
When I first saw the new house, I couldn't help wondering why it was set at the low price that it is.  We've had inspections done, and while there were a few issues, nothing so big that it explained why this dream home was in our price range.  Two thoughts entered my mind: either the Lord was blessing us in a huge way, or there had been some crazy crime there with many people being murdered.  Yes, I know those are about as juxtaposed as you can get, but hey, that's how my mind works. 
Having found no evidence of a mass murder, I am of the opinion now, that this has been a gift.  Things have gone smoothly with the home buying process.  We got an outstanding interest rate.  We got repairs done before moving in.  We get new carpet!
But now begins the process of finding a family to love and respect our "old" house.  I've heard the rental horror stories.  I know that this is a risk.  I know that Dave Ramsey would tell me that we made a bad decision.  But, I also know that there is wisdom in a multitude of councilors, and Dave (while knowing his stuff) isn't the final authority on all money decisions.
I'm nervous.  I don't want to come back to find this little home that I love beaten and abused.  But, it's a risk we are going to have to take.  We have been praying that we will find a family to love and care for this house as much as we have.
So amidst packing, paperwork filing, Internet posting and utility managing, I had to take a moment to pay tribute to this little piece of ground that we call home.  We will miss our neighbors and miss these floors and walls, but trust that the Lord will continue to guide our steps and bless our new adventures. 

Mean Mom's Guilt Trip

As I slid my card through the credit card machine, I said nastily to my daughter, "$74 because you didn't put your glasses away."  The cashier looked a bit embarrassed and apologized for the long wait we had just endured.

My "little" girl stormed ahead, mumbling something about that fact that I shouldn't have humiliated her.  She was right.  I stoped in the isle and asked for forgiveness.  My guilt trip wasn't going to solve this problem.

I was mad--maybe even rightfully so.  However, my treating her like a jerk just compounded the frustration I was feeling.

Teaching responsibility and/or real-world consequences to my girl(s) is proving to be so much more difficult then I ever imagined.  For example, when Joey the hamster died, I ended up buying the replacement, because she didn't have enough money, and needed one for the 4-H project that had been ordered while the hamster was still alive.

Today, she forgot to go to band after school.  Today also happened to be the day that we got to order new glasses after the original pair didn't get put away, and have subsequently been lost in the black hole where missing things go to die.

We don't give our kids an "allowance".  They have the opportunity to earn a few dollars each week by doing housework, but they never want to save it for anything of value.  Instead, it's blown on dollar store nick knacks and the occasional candy or ice cream. 

There has never been an item that they wanted enough to save up for.  So, how do I teach the value of hard work?  How do I instill in them the worthiness of saving for a large goal?  And when they lose, damage or distroy someone's (or thier own) time or materials, how are they to make restitution?

I know that there aren't any pat answers to these issues.  They will likely require new and creative techniques to address the root problem each time.  But one thing is for sure: my guilt heaped upon them will serve no good purpose.  If I could remember to parent like God (a very tall order), then the stage would be set for heart change, rather then groveling sorrow that lasts only for a moment.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Romans 8:1

Super Birga-o's World

This blog needs to have sound effects.  Since I don't think this site can accommodate me, you'll need to use your imagination. To begin, please start humming the "Super Mario Brothers" song.  Now, imagine me (or yourself) walking through the overly simplistic video game world.  You'll need to jump out of the way of (or shoot fireballs at) the mushrooms, turtles and Venus fly traps (??) that come out of the green pipes. 





If you have survived the level, and made it into the tube that takes you to the underground world, please change the song in your head now.



This slightly sinister melody has been playing for me this afternoon/evening as I try to make my way back to the surface.  The irony of this "world" is that I know how to defeat these lesser enemies, but they often get the better of me as I get distracted by other tasks. 

As a kid (and teen) I always loved to go over to any friend's house that had a Nintendo.  We didn't have any type of gaming system at our home, and any time I got a chance to play Super Mario, I was as happy as could be.  But, I was terrible at it!  I always died in the most careless of ways.  I'd fall off a cliff or be killed by a turtle (with or without throwing hammers).  I never seemed to learn (or remember) when/where to duck, jump or avoid danger. 

Now, as a big kid, I find that I make many of the same mistakes walking through real life.  I know the problems, emotions, personalities and situations that knock me down.  But for whatever reason, I don't do a very good job of avoiding them, or learning from them.  Confronted again today by a repeat problem, I didn't duck.  Instead, it hit me square in the chest, and (cue the shrinking Mario sound effect) I felt quite a bit smaller then I had moments before.

So, now I need to recharge.  I know where to look to get what I need to be restored to full size.  And, if I keep going, I can add on some Fire Power!

Though I never won the game, I did on occasion complete a level.  There was always that little tingle of excitement when I got to jump on the flag pole and raise the banner of victory.  So (cue the last musical jingle of the blog), lookout world, I'm going to press forward.  It's only a matter of time before get to the castle!

New Year's Prayer

May 2012 find you walking more intimately with Jesus.  May it be a year of surrender, trust, belief and faith.  That will assure the most blessed days you will ever walk this side of heaven.

Today’s Facebook posting just seemed to pop out of nowhere.  When I really read what I wrote, I was shocked by the simple truth of the statement. 

Yesterday, having been a very difficult day, was the opposite of that goal.  I wasn’t surrendered to the will of Jesus.  I had no trust, believed that there was no hope, and my faith was hanging by a thread.  All very bad choices on my part!

But, God is so faithful, even when I am not!  In the midst of my anguish, I had prayer, and lots of it.  He heard every sobbing cry of desperation and rode in to save the day.  In less than 24 hours, there was healing and restoration in a way I could never have imagined!

This is but one of many examples of my forgetfulness of the bigness of God.  Why can’t I remember that He always takes care of me and eliminate the hours/days/weeks of worry?  He has always proven Himself faithful.  His ways (though not always my ways) have brought change and hope to situations that seemed impossible.

So in the stillness of this New Year’s Eve morning, I reflect on the outgoing of 2011 and the start of something new.  2012 may well have difficulties--but, if I could only get my mind grounded on the Truth of God’s promises, then I wouldn’t be shaken by any of it.  If my focus is on the face of Jesus, I won’t stress about the world around me.

So my payer for you, and for me, as we cross this calendar page is this:

May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13) Lord, may you keep our minds steady upon you.  May our gaze be always into your eyes, believing, trusting and surrendered to the reality of your faithfulness.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

The Sound of Silence

It's Sunday morning, and for a few minutes more, I'm alone with nothing but the sound of the refrigerator whirring in the background.  I've plugged in the Christmas tree and the simple stillness of the morning has reminded me just how long its been since I've sat down to write anything at all.

November was a month of transition for me.  At work, I have a new Program Director and it's required many extra hours of teaching and computer tweaking to get our new team up to speed.  Change is always challenging, but I trust that the Lord is working through it all.  Now that we are beginning to settle into a new routine, things are going much more smoothly, which in turn allows work to feel more fun.

On the home front, it's the Christmas season, and every mom knows all the extras that it entails.  I need to take the time to sit and write our Christmas letter, but in thinking of what to include on one sheet of paper that encompasses the last 365 days of four individuals seems a little daunting.

On one hand, we haven't had any remarkable changes.  We are in the same home, with the same jobs and have had no major illnesses (all of which I thank God for!).  But, on the other hand, we've had lots of little things that have at times rocked me, confused me, scared me or tested my faith. 

So for today, and for the content of our Christmas letter, I think I'll focus on the simplicity of the glittery ornaments that have caught my eye.  There are three that stand out, and they simply read: Joy, Jesus, Peace.