Do you ever come across an article or story that is so refreshingly honest that you want to stand up and cheer? Last week, an article was submitted to me, written by Gena Suarez, publisher of "The Old Schoolhouse Magazine" http://thehomeschoolmagazine.com/. In her willingness to expose herself to readers, she shared that she often times doesn't have it very together. The house may be a mess, and she reported that there are many a day, that she is as well.
I was so refreshed by her candor, that I asked to do an interview with her (which took place this morning). We discussed just how terrible the cycle of comparison can be for women. I may feel guilty because I don't home school my kids like that mom, and she in turn may feel pressured because she doesn't do some of the things I do. It's the ultimate example of trying to "keep up with the Joneses" though the eye of envy may not focus on the "stuff" but on the task list of the mom in question.
It seems that women set themselves upon the scales, daily weighing their effectiveness or accomplishments, based on where they rank compared to "her". While the men may tease each other on anything from sexual prowess to athleticism and salary, we ladies look each other up and down and compare (or rate) ourselves on comparative haircuts, right down to the shoes.
So, in honor of Gena, and the spirit of setting free the woman's bondage of comparison, I will expose some (not all) of my dirty little secrets!
*My children do not bathe daily. In fact, it probably only happens twice a week.
*I hate changing clothes so much, that I will often avoid exercising because I don't want the hassle of dressing and redressing. I have been known to nap in shoes.
*I only cook 2 meals a week. My husband and I routinely play the game: Find what's oldest in the fridge, and eat it before it spoils.
*I crave validation and/or feedback. I get sad if people don't comment on my Facebook posts.
*I hire a dear friend (who needs the work) to clean my house two times a month.
*I have a list of projects waiting to be done from when we moved in. It's been 7 years.
*Towels and sheets don't get washed very often.
*I can't iron. My husband does it for me.
*I will choose sleep over any other pass time, if given the option.
*I am such a bad speller, I question if I could pass a 5th grade spelling test.
*I don't stay trim because I have a stellar diet and routine exercise pattern, it's just luck and genetics.
*I'm cheep, real cheep.
*I may have learned to contain my angry outbursts at my children, but several times a week, I can't stand being with them because of their behavior.
So, lest anyone think that I have it all together, this is just a small sampling of the reality of me. I can't promise that I won't be jealous when I see you at Target, and you and your children look beautiful and rested. But, I'll do my best to remember that you have your struggles too.
Ladies, let's cut ourselves and each other a little slack. Let's be honest and compassionate. And let us refuse to judge each other (or ourselves) on the scale of you vs. me.
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